Successful, black and lonely
December 17, 2009 by owner
Filed under Washington DC Metro
Helena Andrews is 29, single, living in D.C., and might be the star of a black “Sex and the City” — stylish, beautiful and a writer desperately in search of love in the city.
Andrews’s life appears charmed: The film rights for her memoir, “Bitch Is the New Black,” a satirical look at successful young black women living in Washington, were purchased before the book was finished. Shonda Rhimes, the executive producer of “Grey’s Anatomy,” is set to produce the film and Andrews will write the screenplay.
When Andrews pitched the book, she described it as part “Bridget Jones’s Diary,” part “Sex and the City.” The book is to be published in June by Harper Collins.
“What I am trying to say about single black women in any urban environment is, you don’t know them as well as you think you do. They may not know themselves as well as they think they do,” Andrews says, seated at a table with a white tablecloth in a restaurant on U Street. Her appearance is flawless: She is wearing an ivory blazer and skinny jeans, her movie-star eyes glisten with shadow and her hair is cut in a fresh bob. Perfect. Image is everything. And it means nothing.
“The book was a time for me to step back and reflect,” to capture the internal dialogue and the dialogue with girlfriends who are “caught in a quarter-life crisis.” She is not talking about all young black women, but some. Revealing a story not oft told.
The real problem is these black women are not people of good character. They have all the education in the in world, but that does not make you a good person. They may have a great job, beautiful home, they might even be physically attractive, but they lack in character. Too many times society promotes what we should have and what is good and what is bad. All I have to say is look at our society and how jacked up it is. Talk about the miseducation of the negro. Now they have all of this education, great job, great home, nice looking, but there is the other side.
They can’t cook, don’t know what it is to be a good parent. Are too much into themselves and think the world revolves around them.
They always say I can’t find someone who has the same educational backround as me. Well, when did that become a solid factor on rather a relationship was going to suceed. That is just a societal factor. There is no correlation between people who have advanced degrees and people that don’t and their success at a relationship.
My question is to many of these black women? What was your backround growning up? What did your parents do? Were they married or divorced, How were you raised or not raised and who raised you. What were your families morals, values and belief system.
I say to the Black American woman, take a good hard look at yourself. Stop blaming others for your failure and the piss poor choices you made and continue to make. Black women talk about options, you say your options are limited,, but what about the choices you make. When you make bad choices you have no one to blame but yourself.
My wife is Brazilian,she is black, but we have a good relationship, two children, a good solid family structure. We have taught the children about good values, morals and a good belief system not only that but a solid belief system in God.
My wife is a good wife because she knows her role a woman and a wife. The kids were and still are being raised properly. Even though I have a masters degree and my wife doesn’t nearly have the educational level I have, she is a woman of great character. That is why we are married to this day.
Black women its not about you educational level, the things you have, that is society talking. You need to know who you are as a person. I ask the Black women this, if you didn’t have a bachelors, masters, or Ph.D who would you be.
Don’t let the education, and material things define you as a person. Those things are phony.
Wow I don’t agree with everything but agree with most of it ! This comment is a keeper! I am black and I hate to say it but character has a lot to do with what this writer is talking about ! Wow ! It is so so true. I just moved to the DC area by way of San Diego and the black women are so different than the black women back home. Black women make other black women who are not as educated feel very very uncomfortable. No EVERYONE will be able to get to that level so why look down on them?